Category Archives: fashion


I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever been a big product pusher. Other than a few key items, like some socks I finally discovered, after YEARS of searching, that don’t fall down OR cut off my circulation for 12 hours after removing them- well, I’d say my tastes don’t usually fully ALIGN with those of my friends. I tend to be a little ALL OVER THE PLACE with my style. Whereas, one day I’ll look like a poster ad for the boys section in J Crew, the next day I might just look like a angsty teenage half-elf from space! DIFFERENCES.

My mood is definitely a reflection of my wardrobe, and on any given day the range can be mind-boggling. That’s not to say I FEEL like a little boy sometimes, but MORE like I probably feel… jovial, youthful- but interested in being comfortable and having enough room in my pockets to store some treasures I’d like to carry around with me all day SANS the cumbersome TOTE BAG.


Anyway, every once in a crap I come along an item that I feel all of the women in my life need to know about. It needs to ACE the following trifecta: Versatile, Stylish AND COMFORTABLE. These are three of the hardest marks to hit simultaneously with ANY one article of clothing but ESPECIALLY shoes. Usually when I do find a pair of shoes that serve all of these purposes they look SUPER masculine, but these don’t! I SWEAR. Of course, I’m always going to try to mold my outfits into looking like something Tilda Swindon would wear on her day off, or what Annie Lennox might wear in space prison, or basically anything Goldie Hawn wore in the movie Overboard BEFORE she lost her memory- BUT THAT’S JUST ME. Even SO, these shoes ARE feminine AND badass AND comfortable AND JUST SUPER EFFING RAD.  Working on my feet all day, this is truly a triumph. Ladies, we can all thank ZARA once again for keeping us stylish while we tackle our 30s and often find ourselves teetering on that VERY THIN EDGE of our newfound (and slightly more practical) fashion sense, frequently defined by me as being:  “NOT TOPSHOP, NOT J CREW, NOT FOREVER 21: BUT SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN. RIGHT?”

I present to you now, the SOFT SLIPPER:

The Zara "Soft Slipper"


For $39.90. For REAL.

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Who needs pepper spray? Just work them hairy legs, GURL.

Hairy Protection

Hey, ladies! A Chinese company is now selling these hairy stockings in order to disguise your sexy vulnerable legs when you’re stumbling home drunk late at night and asking for it- sike! #serenawilliams

The “China-based” company also claims the leggings send ELECTRIC SHOCKS to attackers. What? How? What exactly provokes the shocking? So many questions. Best of all, they come with a GPS tracking device for your “friends and family” (???)- which I can only assume is located right inside of your vagina.

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It’s going to be one SEXY ASS SUMMER. The kind of summer where you’ll get to see shitloads of CROP TOPS on some fine ass ladies!

Get your Zelnorm on, GURL.

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Zeese close es state of ze aht, yah!

Karma Chameleon is a Canadian company making clothing OF THE FUTURE! Even so, I can’t help but imagine some crazy German Scientist dictating this entire article

“The new lines by the team behind the innovation include a dress which can change shape and colour and a shirt which can charge a mobile phone.” 

Changing ze ways we sees ze close FOREVAHS!

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