From the kinds of people who’ve brought you other important holidays, such as: National Popcorn Day, National Foot Health Month, Wear Brown Shoes Day, National July Belongs to Blueberries Month, and Take Your Daughter to Work Day……
It’s finally arrived, International Clitoris Awareness Week!!! It’s time to celebrate your clitoris, ladies. For a week. Turns out, it’s not a week for touching yourself though. You can save that for National Masturbation Month. I’m still wondering how much longer we’re all going to have to wait for National International Week Month Day. You can’t rush progress, I guess.
ICAW was created by, eh-hem, Clitoraid, an organization that works to fight against all bad things that could ever happen to a clitoris.
Clitoraid’s Nadine Gary tells HuffPo:
“We’ve noticed that the clitoris has not gotten its spot in the limelight. It makes people feel uncomfortable,” she told The Huffington Post. “For this week, we don’t want to focus on genital mutilation.”
Yikes! Well, I can agree with them on THAT. My clitoris is a star. And if society wasn’t so narrow-minded, my clitoris would be on American Idol, X Factor and The Voice. I mean, I know I’m aware of my clitoris. But, is everybody else? They should be. They should know everything about my clitoris.
And that’s what this week is all about. I feel better already! I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to parade my clitoris all around town. Watch out, Williamsburg! I have a clitoris and I’m not afraid to prove it! I mean, show it! I’m not afraid to show it! Or, at least talk about it excessively in this post! CLITORIS. It’s not a scary word. And to pay tribute to my clitoris, I’ve written it an acrostic poem:
C is for Clitoris, and I love you
L is for Language, the way I speak to my Clitoris, with words
I is for International, Clitoris Awareness Week
T is for… Time, it’s getting late and I haven’t showered yet, I should tell Jor I’m running late
O is for Overstock, my new duvet finally arrived today, it’s been backordered for weeks, I was wondering if the god damn thing was ever going to come at all
R is for Rain, it rained today, it’s been on-and-off all day, I wonder if it’s going to rain again, I should bring an umbrella, but I don’t want to carry it around all night if I don’t need it, I guess I’ll just bring it, it’s just an umbrella, if I lose it I can get another one at the bodega
I is for Internet, I’m using the internet
S is for Sarah, my name is Sarah, and my last name is Shields, so I guess it could be for either one