Andrew Cuomo is now writing his MEMOIR, which set to be released next year. This is NOT to be confused with an autobiography, people. I MEAN IT. A memoir is about specific, isolated events. An autobiography is about someone’s ENTIRE LIFE. Which is NOT what he’s writing about! DEFINITELY NOT. What I’m saying is, he’s probably got a whole shitload of boring, politically-minded inspirational stories that nobody wants to hear about, let alone read. Not one measly book’s worth. And if he’s elected in 2016 as President he’ll eventually have to write about them all. So, it’s best he doesn’t blow his load on the first nap-inducing account of his life- or parts of it. Not the whole thing. I swear. Just the one part.

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