“And another thing!” of the Week: HBO’s GIRLS


Man, EVERYBODY has an opinion about GIRLS. The only thing I hate more than GIRLS is everybody’s annoying fucking opinion on it. And I don’t even hate GIRLS. And I’m not sure why I feel like I should capitalize GIRLS throughout this whateveritis, but I’m going with it!

Okay. What I mean is, some people really LIKE Veep. What? Yes. Curveball! It’s funny. And it’s actually a relief to see someone so renowned for an iconic, albeit retired, show doing so well in a new role. But you know, nobody’s FREAKING OUT PISSED that it exists. It’s like- you watch it, you like it, or you just don’t feel like spending time on it. Or you forget about it. Or you don’t even know what the fuck Veep even is.

Anyway, GIRLS!

I have a confession to make. I’ve watched EVERY FUCKING EPISODE OF GIRLS. Oh, shit! I fucking hate it, but it feels fun to cheat on what my idea of good television is. Wait a second. I don’t hate GIRLS. But I guess I’ve just heard so many people bitch about it, it feels like the right choice to say I do. It feels more ME to say I hate it. Fuck that show! Girls is so stupid! I just got so pissed I forgot to capitalize GIRLS! I must REALLY hate that show! But I don’t. I guess I just like thinking of my TV style as being defined by shows like: Top Gear, Always Sunny, Luther, The Killing, Madmen, Modern Family, and MANY MORE… all of which I feel might be mildly offended by having to share space with GIRLS. I also see myself as having strong opinions about what I spend my time on when I’m sitting on my ass watching television. You know, each choice is shaping me and what other people think of me. Yeah, IT’S NOT. Really, I’m just looking for something I feel like watching. And I watch different things for different reasons. Shocker. FEELINGS are involved. And expectations. Like, if I want to watch something well written and dramatic with a political angle, I’m going to watch old episodes of West Wing or something current like The Newsroom. If I want to see a crazy bitch fall in love with a guy in 2 days and quickly lose her mind due to being surrounded by a group of the most vapid hawk-like women trying to steal him because they’re in LOVE WITH HIM TOO- I’ll watch The Bachelor! I love me some crazy bitches! Is it a fucking joke? YES. That’s the point. Make me laugh, tiny people in the TV Tube! ENTERTAIN ME.

I also think I’m sort of jealous of Lena Dunham’s huge professional success, the way I used to hate Claire Danes when I was in middle school. But Lena Dunham is younger than me and cheeky, and it makes me feel weird to be jealous. Which makes me angry… because I’m JEALOUS. She gets to write, act, and make jokes. Fuck her!

I don’t know how I got there… but 2 episodes into the first season I found myself feeling like it would be a really bad choice for me socially to go around telling everyone, “Hey, I love that new show GIRLS!!” in the same way I might feel weird saying, “I miss Sex in the City!!! I hope they make another movie, I don’t care how shitty it is!” I hadn’t even seen one episode of GIRLS and I found myself talking tons of shit about it. Like, “Yeah, fuck Lena Dunham!” And, “That show fucking sucks!” That was pretty much it. I wasn’t working with a lot of information. 

Is the show GIRLS relevant? WHO CARES? She’s definitely nailing some of the culture, but is some of it fucking ridiculous? YES. That’s just good story-telling. People exaggerate to make an impression. Wild, I know. In any case, she’s pissed off a LOT of my peers. And I get it. I mean… I ESPECIALLY get why a dude would not be into this show. It’s the low-rent, NYU grad, hipster version of Sex in the City. On the other hand, hipsters can be so fucking protective of their lifestyle and unique fucking culture (bitch, please!),  that they’re pissed when anything comes along that tries to put them in a box. Fear not, color-blocking, pickle-backing 20-somethings and early-30ish independent and unique BAND lovers! GIRLS isn’t going to infect you with a definition. Even if it was trying to, it can’t. It’s a fucking TV show. GIRLS is just an embarrassing fictional account of some slightly retarded girls (GIRLS) living their four stupid retarded lives. Girls should watch GIRLS. You don’t have to find it interesting. But some parts are really funny, and some make me want to leave the room, and some make me feel better because I get to see someone else who was faced with a similarly pathetic situation as I- and they fucked it up even more than I did. Yay!


Just kidding! 


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