Bodies are Weird

When I’m at work, I like to play with and pinch my belly fat. It’s a comforting gesture that humiliates me on a regular basis. I also enjoy picking at my scalp, scratching the sides of my nose (the OUTSIDE, I’m not a total creep), and grabbing my boobs. Bodies are weird! It’s fun to play with them! It got me thinking about all sorts of things related to my body: I noticed that when I walk upstairs I protect my boobs with my arms, so that they don’t bounce up-and-down while I rapidly ascend. Sometimes, it feels prudent to wiggle my toes till they all separate, or till I can feel the separation, which can lead to intense distraction for up to 60 seconds. I can click my ankles AND my wrists simultaneously. It’s not sexy, and it sounds kind of gross- but it’s AWESOME. My belly has a permanent crease below it. I’m not fat, but I’m no top model either. Still, I’m not really sure why it’s there. It’s definitely kept me from buying any low-waisted bikinis or ever feeling 100% comfortable with my shirt off. It has, however, provided me with a nice trick when I’m drunk- “Wanna take a look at my EQUATOR LINE?!” I have a scar from my appendectomy which I can be found messing with on occasion. Scar tissue feels weird. I LIKE TO POKE IT.

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